Shakal dekhi hai uski? Chalna bhi nhi ata? Baat kernay ka dhang dekha hai uska?

Bhoot hi awaara qisam ki hai? Umar se tou baari lag rahe hai! Zaroor boss se baat cheet pe raise laga hai! 

And so the mindless chatter goes on!

We are celebrating women’s day, but we need to be self-aware that it’s not just today’s man who is solely responsible for the down set of our majority but we ourselves as women are shadowing or supporting their mind frame and proactively supporting it at full go.

Let’s begin to point the major spotlight, one as a woman has go through, from her adolescence to her middle age, she is expected to meet certain standards be it looks, behavior, or act (body shaming), we are monitored into certain gender-specific roles, where even the question of how or why it’s done, is an open threat. No one takes into regard the (why’s) of your upbringing. 

Then as her schooling takes places and she gets more equipped of her impact/influence as a growing female in the male dominating society, her lack of knowledge (her reproductive cycle), as well the threat of facing sexual/physical violence or threat (Bad touch/Good touch), leaves her confused as well as isolated by sometimes her blood relations, the lack of empathy leads to a lack of confidence and self-esteem at a younger age.

A woman who is flexible by nature, is told how her behavior is shaping society, how she looks, what she wears, how she walks, where she walks, education, careers choices, right to marriage, everything is decided and her being naturally gifted to be folded is more likely not asked but communicated to sacrifice, her choice to make a decision is taken, and her response to accept it willingly caters her into being a good woman. 

In the name of religion, protectors of women have defined not only gender roles but made certain conditions of how an abiding and not-so-abiding woman choose her category to be a good or bad woman of the society.

Since choices were made, if she ends up being at home (housewife), she has to meet the standard of a perfectionist as they say: 'It's hard to be a woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse. ~unknown'

Summing this up, if you get lucky to be a working woman, once you ignore the stares and glances of men who particularly owe the right to acknowledge your appearance, and if you manage to work your hats off for that appraisal, your achievement will still be looked upon as either on the boss favor or even questioned what has she to do with so much success, her balancing work-life choices even with the support of a good spouse, will be the envy of the same gender(women of your kind) who either never got a chance to change their life or touch wood be happy for those making a change in their life.

There will always be haters questioning, judging your lifestyle, and making sure to find faults to satisfy their bruised ego.

Lastly, since I personally have reached this stage, will move on to the rishta age or (Shaadi ki umar nikal rahe hai!) specifically, your late 20’s will be more of a threat and full of depressive anxiety attacks, where growing up is more of sorrow than being grateful and enjoying a year more life ahead. Again, before you even meet your in-laws (susral) or spouse, you will be certainly navigated to a reminder of how much of disapproval your entire being/lifestyle is.

In short, there is never a question of self-love, self-growth, self-satisfaction, or even free will for trial and error, cause as much as God made women to be led by our beloved men, she was born with the same mindset i.e. ability to think and take her decisions, all she seeks is respect, love as well a safe and secure culture, environment which on every phase of her life makes her feel happy to make herself a priority hence keeping all her loved ones (family values and traditions) in lope than being oppressed into living her life for others (Kiun ke mard kabhi nahi badalta!).

I will end this with a solemn request to men, standing as a majority and the successor of women quoting:

'It's men who make her feel safe, when she goes out;

 It's men who make her feel unsafe when she goes out'

Writer: Cheryl Youhanna

Content writer/CSR Specialist.

  • In: Lifestyle